"The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!"

"Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for."

"The turtle lives 'twixt plated decksWhich practically conceal its sex.I think it clever of the turtleIn such a fix to be so fertile."

"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."

"Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for."

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."

"Actresses will happen in the best regulated families."

"The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot."

"Love is indescribable and unconditional. I could tell you things that it is not, but not one that it is. Either you have it or you haven't; there's not proof of it."

"The case has, in some respects, been not entirely devoid of interest."

"Hold no man responsible for what he says in his grief."

"It is a very lonely life that a man leads, who becomes aware of truths before their times."