"One is tempted to define man as a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason."

"Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable."

"'Twas Christmas broach'd the mightiest ale; 'Twas Christmas told the merriest tale; A Christmas gambol oft could cheer The poorest man's heart thru half the year."

"He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak."

"What do you do with a lifetime of work? Face it in the morning."

"Awards are merely the badges of mediocrity."

"Every man who observes vigilantly, and resolves steadfastly, grows unconsciously into genius."

"Immortality is the condition of a dead man who doesn't believe he is dead."

"I have seen the science I worshipped, and the aircraft I loved, destroying the civilization I expected them to serve."

"I'll publish right or wrong. Fools are my theme, let satire be my song."